Hollywood Harv: Signs, signs, everywhere signs

The Vege Garden Pizza restaurant in Surrey. Submitted photo

HOLLYWOOD HARV
VANCOUVER DESI

As I drive through Surrey I am amazed by the amount of new construction.  The volume of development is staggering.  There are so many new complexes and each one of those complexes has dozens of new businesses.  And each one of those businesses has a sign.  As I read the signs, I was proud of the fact that there were so many interesting new businesses owned and operated by people of Indian descent.  We are a community and this community has seen its fair share of success in Canada.  But at the same time I have to wonder, who is proofreading these signs?

I have owned a small business before and I happen to know that it is not cheap to put up a big sign across the front of your building.  Particularly, if you are purchasing a lighted sign or a ridiculously expensive neon sign.  But before you make that investment, would you not get someone else to read the sign and make sure that everything is spelt correctly?  Even though I am writing for a website or newspaper, I admit my spelling is not perfect.  But that is why it gets double checked, and edited.

I would surely want to know before I spend five grand on a neon sign that quality is not spelled with a K.  I have seen so many, like Vege Garden Pizza.  Did they mean to do that?  Recently I noticed a For Lease sign that said “great exposer”.  Sometimes I feel that I should be a nice guy and point out the error.  But then I think, what if he has heard it 99 times before and I end up being the straw that breaks the camel’s back?

And it is not just signs with grammatical error, there are some businesses that just have bad names.  I drove past a restaurant in Surrey where the Punjabi name translates to “The Eat and Drink Restaurant.” This made me think about when people do name searches to register a business.  Is it just an automated system that checks the arrangement of letters or are there two guys just cracking up and high fiving each other saying “Oh yeah, we have to let them name it that?”

I’ve also heard lots about this new restaurant called the Brown Spot.  I get what they’re trying to do here but is that a good name?  Is it really necessary?  When you’re driving by, do you think Brown Spot sounds like a place you would like to stop and eat?

And, of course, there are accidentally funny signs like the legendary Dr. Terry Mah.  Everyone has heard of the dentist office on the corner of Scott and 72^nd with the giant sign reading Dr. Terry Mah.  Obviously Terry Mah is the man’s name, however in both Punjabi and Hindi it translates to “your mother.”

But there are many others and I want you to send them in.  Let’s have all the readers send in their pictures of funny signs, spelling mistakes, and signs with double meanings and we will do our best to post them.

By the way, if you’d like to see more of my NSFW comedy show you can visit my website www.hollywoodharv.ca  The Hollywood Harv LIVE hour long DVD special is available for a $5 download.

Hollywood Harv is a local born and raised comedian. He can be reached at hollywoodharvcomedy@gmail.com or you can see one of his live performances every Thursday night at Mavericks Lounge on 12th and Kingsway.

Tags: business, comedian, comedy, harv puni, Hollywood Harv, restaurants, signs, Surrey, terry mah

R says:

September 27, 2012 at 5:47 pm

Not indian but in Langley called “fuchs lubricants”.