Lifestyles: Why are Indian weddings becoming so predictable?

Wedding music, in general, is pretty predictable. Submitted photo

The short period of good hot weather usually makes for a congested season with something happening every weekend.

After repeatedly going over the routine of picking our glittery, elegant clothing and jewelry, and discussing with friends which events they will be attending, I find myself questioning a few concepts: Why are the decorations, food and even entertainment becoming so predictable at Indian weddings?

At our end, it starts with the fancy invitations accompanied by traditional sweets piling up on our kitchen counter. As I flip through them, I realize that I don’t even recognize some of the names on the cards. This is where I turn to ask my parents, ‘Who is this?’ Sometimes even they scratch their heads to give some knowledgeable detail on the couple.

They generally have better information on the couple’s parents. Sometimes, one of the parents could have been my dad’s college mate, or colleague, or from the same region of Punjab and that is supposed to explain how our family got to be invited in the first place. So my assumption is that since the parents are the financial sponsors of the wedding, they get to choose their guests.

Every now and then, I get persuaded by my parents to accompany them. The bride and groom don’t even know who we are and whether we have showed up. Following the famous Indian tradition, the guests arrive late and the couple arrives even later. Seating is tight and there is no time to mingle. I sometimes wonder if, as a courtesy, I should go introduce myself.: “Hello, my father went to college with your parents, you guys seem like a happy couple.” Then I wonder what response I am going to get, so decide against it and quietly enjoy the fried finger food appetizers.

Several wedding halls have cropped up across the Lower Mainland. Most of them have the same options of food. Don’t get me wrong! I love goat curry, vegetable sabjis, and of course the classic butter chicken and naan but, during wedding season, when you are attending two to three events in a week, well that’s a lot of the same curry. The DJs are also playing the same list of songs. Most of them have large crowds. I think as a tradition, we have fallen prey to high financing and low expectations?

The men at the bar are generally tuned out to bright little performances by little kids representing the couple’s family. Barring the immediate family of the performer, only a few are focused on the adorable five- or six-year-old’s twirls and twists.

Let’s not forget the famous slide show. Yes, this is the one where the bride’s and groom’s baby pictures show up and they have sequentially displayed their life until the day they met. Some of these slide shows go on for 10 to 15 minutes and again fail to capture the attention of the guests who don’t know you to begin with.

I feel like we have fallen into a rut.

The banquets halls look the same, the food tastes the same, performances are similar and the DJ is the same, and most of them are attended by large numbers. Are we losing our creative gene? Is it just me or are weddings becoming boring and tedious? Indian weddings are expensive – shouldn’t we atleast try and raise the bar, invite the right people and make the day memorable for everyone who attends?

After all, it is someone’s big day.

Raymon Grewal is a young adult student studying medicine who writes for Vancouver Desi. 

Tags: Indian weddings, weddings

Sarb says:

September 28, 2012 at 11:50 am

Yes, parents invite people who the kids don’t know and in most cases, who they barely know.
Things will definitely change and become a lot smaller. I am in my 20′s and cannot comprehend spending $30,000-$40,000 on my kids wedding.

geeta says:

September 28, 2012 at 9:10 am

ablolutly agree with you Ramon. I think there will soon be a change as now people have started realizing this issue.

GV says:

September 27, 2012 at 8:24 am

great article..so true…when will Indian parents learn to STOP LIVING FOR SOCIETY?

PD says:

September 26, 2012 at 3:16 pm

I couldn’t agree more. The problem comes in trying to convince your parents that you want a more intimate affair, especially if they are paying for the wedding. They will want to invite there doctors, sisters, nieces, brother in law because of course they were invited to their wedding. I personally don’t see the point, you waste an obscene amount of money on folks you barely know that bring along 20 of their closest relatives and give you a card with $50 between them, barely enough to cover 1 or 2 plates of food at the reception…

I told my parents not to worry, I will cover my own wedding costs. It’s the only way I feel I will have any control over my own wedding.